Wednesday, November 09, 2005

If you think your job's bad....

I was reading the editorial section of our local paper yesterday, and I think I missed the boat on the whole job opportunity thing. Who knew many moons ago when I got my biology degree that I could of had one of these jobs:

Orangutan Pee Collector
Job description: Attach a plastic bag to a pole and chase the apes through the rainforest to gather samples of their urine.

My qualifications - Aside from my degree...I have boys. That love to run around naked. One of who isn't toilet trained. No plastic bags or poles needed in this house. Just some super absorbent paper towel.

Semen Washer
Job description: Lab technicians who are engaged by sperm banks to prepare sperm for long-term storage.

My qualifications: Ummmm....none. Although I have washed out my fair share of test tubes, but somehow it just isn't the same thing.

Job description: being able to run to the site of a rumbling volcano when everyone else is running in the opposite direction.

My qualifications: I have had my fair share of eruptions to clean up in this house. Enough said.

Manure inspector
Job description: Wade through mountains of animal shit to find ways to eliminate e-coli, campylobacter and salmonella from the food chain.

My qualifications: I have two boys. Both of who have swallowed things in the past that I had to patiently wait for at the other end. While it isn't mountains of poop, it is enough to have to pick through to find that small piece of plastic train wheel that looked awfully appetizing to the second born who hates real food.

Somehow my usual "I'm from the government and I am here to help you" doesn't sound quite so bad...

1 comment:

Ryann said...

awesome!!! I'll remind myself whenever I hate my job