Saturday, October 08, 2005

The SNIP

Last week Ken had an appointment with one of the leading doctors in the area about his happy sack and man tubes (I couldn't come up with a comical name myself, so I stole from this guy). Ken called me when he got to the clinic, and I could hear the fear in his voice. He said there were a number of men with ashen faces and walking as not to disturb their newly tender, non-sperm containing jewels. Ken was just having a consultation, but for a brief moment he thought that perhaps that was going to be the first day of the rest of his "I'm shooting blanks" life.

I for one, have zero sympathy. The procedure that this particular doctor uses involves no needles and no scalpels and NO STITCHES. It takes only eight minutes. He gets drugs to numb the area before the procedure and copious drugs afterwards to deal with the "pain". Yes I am being mean. This is coming from somone who had hours upon hours of labour with both pregnancies, NO DRUGS to "numb the area" before the birth (even though I begged with child number two), and a few pills afterwards to deal with the PAIN.

Hospitals in our area used to supply all kinds of things for mothers and babies after a birth. Now, they supply very little. I believe my "aftercare" package came with two industrial sized pads, some flimsy mesh paper underwear, and TWO pain pills. Here is a detailed list of the "Vasectomy Supply Kit" that Ken will get after the snip:

- Antibacterial clenser to wash the scrotum nightly for three nights before the snip.
- A man thong to wear for a week after "surgery"
- Gauze
- Anibiotic ointment
- 16 tablets of extra strength tylenol
- 24 tablets of anti-inflammatories
- Gel packs for icing the scrotum.

I must admit though, Ken is being a trooper about the whole thing. In his words he is "taking one for the team". Not like I gave him a choice in the matter.

3 comments:

Celena said...

ha ha, you're awesome! And my man gets snipped AS SOON AS NUMBER 2 ARRIVES! Don't even feel the TINIEST bit guilty!

Anna said...
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Anna said...

To be honest, I am not happy in that I would love to have #3, but if there is any fixing to be done, damned rights it is going to be him!!!