Random Acts of Kindness?

In an article written by Douglas Todd of the Vancouver Sun in September 2009, he stated that in ancient Greece, Aristotle defined kindness as "helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything."


In anticipation of the Dalai Lama’s visit to Vancouver this past September, the Vancouver Sun Newspaper asked readers to write in about random acts of kindness.  Specifically, they asked readers to “Please send us a letter in 200 words or less describing what "act of kindness" you have performed or plan to do”.

What really stuck with me though, was that they wanted readers to tell about random acts of kindness that they performed. Honestly, I would have much rather heard about someone who was on the receiving end of a random act of kindness. In fact, one gentleman who wrote a letter to the editor asked the question “if one does a random act of kindness is it still a random act if they then tell everyone about it?” I couldn’t have agreed with him more.

Some of the letters telling of what people did were truly fantastic. Others would have fallen into the category of plain old using good manners. Honestly, is someone opening a door for someone else with an armload of books a random act of kindness? In my opinion, that is something that should be done as a common courtesy.

I love the idea of a random act of kindnesses. The best part of them is that it might be something that someone might do and not realize the impact it has on the recipient. A random act of kindness could be someone telling a stranger how beautiful she looks, without realizing that that same woman struggled that morning trying to figure out how to put on her wig because all her hair had fallen out due to chemotherapy. That one small comment has a profound effect on the receiver.

A random act of kindness could be something as small as bringing a bouquet of tulips to a busy and harried school secretary “just because”, or anonymously picking up the tab for a young family at the local diner. It is something that is done from the heart with no expectations of anything in return, including recognition.

Perhaps I am being a bit over the top in that I don’t really need to hear about the random acts from the people who have done them. I am all for doing random acts of kindness, just not telling everyone that you did it. I do however love to hear stories from the recipients of these random acts. It is then that you truly appreciate the effect.

The big change over the last six months.

"it'll be fun" she said.

"no it won't" I told her....

My friend D was referring to boot camp.  She wanted to try it, and to be honest, I had looked at a bunch of different companies doing boot camp, but the cost and time commitment was prohibitive.  If you want to sign up for one month of hell, one camp in our area charged $200 for three days/week, and $270 for five days/week.  In addition, they require that you to buy your own stuff too (weights, mats, balls....).  Far to expensive for me. 

D had done her research and the local community center had a beginners boot camp, twice a week at 6:00am.  It wasn't nearly as expensive as the other camps, and they supplied the stuff that you needed.  I reluctantly agreed to join.  We started in July (too bad my 20 year high school reunion was at the end of June...).

The first week was really tough.  After the first day I could hardly move.  I was nearly in tears every time I went up and down the stairs.  It did get easier though. 

We stuck through it for July and August.  And I lost a grand total of ZERO pounds.  But I did feel better. 

I then started to get more serious about my eating.  I liked to think that I ate well, but I was snacking all day and when I wrote down everything that I put in my mouth and figured out how many calories I was actually eating I was shocked.  My version of breakfast, lunch and dinner was basically finishing what the kids didn't eat.  The food I ate was ok, I was just eating too much of it (with the odd chocolate treat).

Fast forward to today - D and I aren't doing bootcamp (it is outside, and the cold and wet just isn't appealing) however we have taken up spin classes, and work out at the gym.  Each of us needs the other to stay motivated, as the only time we can go is 6:00am.  That means we are getting up at 5:30 am most mornings.  We have both lost weight, and I am hoping that we keep this up. 

So what are the chances of having a 21 year grad reunion?  Slim....

Brought to you by the letters O, M and G.

I was in Starbucks the other day with the kids – it is a smaller one near us that has very limited seating, and when it is full, the idea of “personal space” goes out the window. We were lucky to squeeze into a small corner table with a couple of seats, I was a bit nervous though as it was next to a group of businessmen and Renee was dangerously close to full meltdown mode as it was pretty close to nap time.
The three men at the adjacent table were in their early to mid 50’s, and very distinguished looking. And when I say “distinguished” I mean they weren’t wearing the equivalent of my wardrobe of tee-shirts and jeans (on a good day) or yoga gear (did I mention I have never done yoga IN MY LIFE?). I think I may have had my funky rain boots on, so that at least is a bonus.

A youngish lady came up to the men and started chatting with them. I’d peg her in her late 20’s to mid 30’s (hard to judge because she was wearing a ton of makeup). She was an attractive lady though. They obviously knew her, not sure if she was a co-worker perhaps, or maybe a real-estate agent or insurance broker…at any rate, they bantered back and forth for a few minutes. Near the end of the conversation, she had mentioned her dogs – and one of the guys said “maybe we’ll just call you the dog lady” (and then they all chuckled). She laughed right along with them, and then told them she had to go. Just after she left and was out of earshot (but unfortunately, I wasn’t) one of the men said:

“I’d like to make her bark like a dog, OH BABY”.   The other two quickly agreed with him and started to laugh.

I just about spit out my coffee. REALLY???? I’d expect that from a few drunken 20 year olds perhaps, but those words coming out of a guy’s mouth that was old enough to be her FATHER was just icky. So so glad that Nick didn’t hear it. Not too sure how I’d explain that one.

room with a view

this is the view we had this morning from our small side window in the living room.  One day, when we gut and reno the house I'll make this the view from the kitchen.  That is Mt. Baker in WA in the shot.

My extremely talented friend...

I have written before about an extremely talented friend of mine and her ability to make amazing cakes.  She could give all those guys on TV a real good run for their money.  I have written about her sushi cake she did for my birthday last year, the kiwi cake with the Canadian spin that she did for my mom, and the first cakes she ever did for me, a Venom cake for Nick and girly girl cake for Renee. 

Also did a crab cake for my dad and sister-in-law (they are both born in July, so we figured using the astrological sign of cancer would be appropriate)

I haven't written about the pirate cake she did for Ethan this year (which was truly amazing - I loved the hanging skeletons)

And when Nick told me this year that he wanted a star wars cake for his birthday, complete with a couple of cops just to "keep everyone in line", she came up with this for him:

When she brought the cake over to the house, Nicholas took one look at it and said "but that isn't how you spell my name"!  The cake lady told him that she didn't have enough room to print "Nicholas" so she did the shortened form instead.  Nick's eyes lit up, and he asked if that was in fact his name.  I told him it was.  He almost NEVER writes Nicholas now...

So for Christmas this year, the cake lady surprised us with an amazing clay sculpture of our family.  I love it.  So freaking talented...

Weakness.

One of my biggest weaknesses is cookbooks.  In the last month I have bought three.  Three BIG ones.  And this is in addition to the seemingly endless amount of bookmarked online of recipes that I want to try.  And the cupboard full of cookbooks I already have. 

One website that I read frequently is The Pioneer Woman.  I have tried a few of her recipes, most have worked really well.  One of Ken's favourites is apple cake in an iron skillet (he calls it sex in a pan).  In fact, I had to go out and buy a SMALLER skillet because when we used the big one we'd eat all the dessert in one sitting.  Just the two of us.  And I wondered why it was so hard to lose weight....

I must admit, the apple cake doesn't look pretty, but it smells and tastes AMAZING.  And works equally well with pears.  Caution - it is LOADED with butter - which I regularly stock up on when we travel to the US.  Unsalted butter up here is insanely expensive, so picking up a few pounds (ok, more than a few) is a must when we go to south.  In fact, on my last trip down with some girlfriends we were grilled at the border about the amount of butter we were bringing home.  You'd think it was drugs or something.  Never mind the wine we had, that guard was all focused on the 10lbs of butter each of us were trucking back to Canada....

The Pioneer Woman also has a cookbook (which of course, I bought).  I have tried a couple of recipies and they turned out quite well. 

Another weakness is Williams-Sanoma.  I don't really buy stuff there, but I browse.  And dream.  And drool.  I did see this cookbook in their store, but I didn't buy it.  But then, as I was in Costco a few days later (buying aforementioned butter) I saw the cookbook, and it was almost half the price.  I scooped it up. 

I haven't tried anything in it yet, but I have found a bunch of recipies that I will try in the coming weeks.  I love how it is laid out, and the photos are amazing. 

Last but not least, I purchased Baking, by Martha Day.  It too was in Costco, and it was CHEAP.  I'd never heard of her, but a quick google shows that she has written numerous cookbooks.  Again, the photos are amazing, and I can't wait to try some of the recipes.  I am such a sucker for a good cover for a cookbook (I think mine is a newer edition, because I couldn't find it online, but here is an earlier version of her book):

Something went crash and left a mess.

Red Breasted Sap Sucker, originally uploaded by SalteryLodge.com.

A couple of weeks ago we were eating lunch and Ethan asks why the window is "messy". I asked him to define "messy". He told me that there were feathers and other gunk on the window. He then looked down and told me that there was a big bird in the yard.

Years ago when I was studying at UVIC (oh how I miss Victoria...) I took a bird identification course. It was basically a filler third year level course that I needed to get enough credits for my Biology degree. The only textbook required was Peterson's Field Guide to North American Birds, which was a bargain compared to the $100+ textbooks required for other classes. I quite enjoyed the course (not as much as the statistics class where we had to chase grasshoppers in open fields attempting to catch and mark them, but that is a whole other post).

I never did think that I'd use that knowledge that cost many thousands of dollars, but I do, almost daily. After examining the dead bird, looking through the field guide, we came to a consensus that it was in fact a Red Breasted Sap Sucker.  The kids were just fascinated, so much so that Nick asked if we could get a bird feeder. Normally we don't have them out as they are an attractant for the bears (which visited and played in our yard again this year), but most of them are hibernating at this point, so I figured why the hell not.

So the field guide is by the window, and almost every day one of the kids (even Renee) brings it over to see what type of bird is at the feeder.  We have had a huge variety, even the big woodpeckers having a go at the birdseed.  At least it is a break from the endless Star Wars and Lego!

This time last year...

balancing act, originally uploaded by sassyanna.

We were covered with the white stuff. As I sit typing this now, it is pouring rain. I do really like the snow - as long as I don't have to go anywhere in it.

Post number one of 2010 done!

out with the old...in with a new resolution.

So I have decided to revive the blog. I am even debating trying to post something every day, a fair whack of that will have to be photos though, because I am just not that talented to write something daily.

So to all two of you who read this blog, hold onto your hats!

Things to learn at soccer camp...

Ethan just finished a week at soccer camp. He didn't love it, but he thought it was ok (I think being in the scorching sun had something to do with it). Funny how a few weeks ago he dreaded swimming, but in the last week when it has been stinking hot he can't wait to go...

At any rate, he did well. He learned a few new tricks:



He went after the ball (most of the time)



Most importantly he did have a smile on his face




Ethan's fondest memories of soccer camp though is what he learned from his peers. His much older peers...



He is now teaching Nick and Renee all about farting from the armpit. Oh joy.

Me thinks this wouldn't have worked in the Catholic church...

My 20 year grad reunion - and a flashmob...

I am working on a post for my 20 year grad reunion that I went to recently. In the meantime, here is a hammerpants flashmob to get you in the mood.

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Jon & Kate plus 8 trainwreck

Honestly, I don't even know where to start with this family. I first blogged here about the reality show that everyone seems to be talking about.

I started watching Jon & Kate plus 8 when we finally got cable TV. I was fascinated with how a family could handle SIX babies. All at the same time. Oh, and twins thrown into the mix too. I remember when we had to deal with all night feedings, no sleep, sheer exhaustion, and that was with only three kids, and it was never all at the same time.

At first it was really interesting. I could see that they got alot of help and free stuff, and that is great. I couldn't even fathom the cost of six kids in diapers. Wow.

After it became more that just a two hour special, and turned into a weekly show, I still watched. The "little kids" as they call them are the same age as Nicholas, so I could relate somewhat. Ken and I are asked often (although not so much lately) if we watch Jon and Kate. Ken is Chinese (Jon is half Korean) and Kate is Caucasian, so maybe that is why people assume we watched the show. Either that or my three kids acted like there were eight of them sometimes...

I did get fed up with watching awhile ago - what bothered me most then was the way Kate treated Jon. I couldn't believe the way she yelled at him or sometimes treated him worse than the kids. Now what bothers me is the fact that they (and I think it is more her than him) seem to be pimping out their kids for money. Yes, the kids are cute, and yes, the lure of $$$ per episode must be tempting. But what happens when the kids get older? What happens when they google mommy and daddy and see all the crap that has been put all over the internet. Those kids have had no say in the matter of being on reality tv, and the fact that the cameras have almost been there since day one makes this way of life for those kids normal to them.

So tonight is the episode where they talk about "life altering decisions". Speculation is that divorce is on the horizon. I wonder if they will pull the plug on the show and try to repair what is left of the relationship? Likely not. But stranger things have happened.

toilet training officially delayed - probably forever.

I thought toilet training the third time around was going to be a cakewalk. And since the first two human beings I had to toilet train were boys, I figured that with a girl it would be easy.

Renee showed signs of being ready quite early on. She was thrilled when I got her a princess toilet seat. Yes, I know I said I'd never cave to the boy/girl stereotypes, but she picked the toilet seat out, and if she was happy to pee on a princess, I was happy to oblige.

We took the family to Disneyland in April. We left Renee behind. And before you think I am the meanest mommy in the universe, I'll have you know that Renee was spoiled ROTTEN by grandparents while we were away. AND my mom had her almost potty trained. I was thrilled. I don't know what she was bribed with, but whatever it was it worked. Until a couple of weeks ago when I royally 'effed things up.

I was in the bathroom trying to fix my hair, and Renee wandered in telling me that she had to pee on her princess toilet. Just as those words escaped her tiny little mouth she discovered a spider lurking on the wall. She had a little two year old freak out and asked me to "put the 'pider outside NOW". Most days I have a thing about killing spiders, I just don't do it. I'll catch them and put them outside. But on this particular day, I was in a rush, and when a two year old has to pee, you'd better get to it right now. So I grabbed the spider and without thinking, put it IN THE TOILET. Renee freaked. And screamed. And freaked a little more. And refused to park her ass anywhere near a pink princess or a castle that was within 10 feet of a toilet.

I think she'll be in diapers until she is 10. Shit.

Is gray the new black?

I met a woman the other day while watching Nicholas at his swimming lesson. I can honestly say that she is one of the most interesting people I have met in quite awhile. She was born and grew up in the Dominican Republic, spent her 20's living in New York where she met her husband. They moved to the state of Georgia, and now live here in the lower mainland. We chatted about anything and everything, and I find myself really looking forward to seeing her each week.



On Tuesday we had a really interesting conversation. I showed up to swim lessons in a ball cap. It is one of the coping mechanisms I use to hide my gray roots. D asked me where I got my hat, and mentioned that she needs to buy some. I wondered why the heck she'd want to cover her gorgeous locks (and they are beautiful) and she proceeds to take her hair clip out and show me her gray roots. She asked me to take my hat off so she could see my gray. It soon became a comparison of our re-growth - which was pretty much the same. The main difference between the two of us is that she is 10 years older than me. She then told me that she is going to stop colouring her hair and grow it out. She also told me about this website.


Now I must admit, the thought has crossed my mind. I am so anal about what I expose my kids to, and yet I put all this chemical crap in my hair to hide the plethora of gray. My gray hair stared to sprout when I was a teenager, but back then I could just pluck it out. In my 20's it got increasingly more plentiful, and that is when I started to colour my hair on a regular basis. After I get my hair coloured (or do it myself) I love it. For about a week. And then I can see the regrowth. By six weeks it is blatantly obvious that my true hair colour now is more gray than brown.


I started to look online for women with gray hair. Many were stunning. Look at this woman's before shot:




And now the after:

This lady is one of youngest I found online - she is only 45. And I am sure that she had alot of help to look this great, but still....she is gorgeous. The only problem with what I found online was that none of the woman who decided to go gray were in their 30's. Most were in their early 50's.

I have three main issues with going gray - the growing out process (UGH), looking like my kids grandma, and the reaction from Ken. I casually mentioned it last night, and he is not keen in the least. For now it is on the back burner. But who knows how long that will last.

One of the first things mom said to me when I saw her today was "when are you going to start posting again?". I am assuming that she has been getting a bit of flack from the relatives in New Zealand. Oops.

Since the last post, the boys each had a birthday. The cakes that the amazing Mel did will be given their due attention in posts yet to come - suffice it to say that she is so talented that she could be a regular on Ace of Cakes.



Alot has happened around here - but none of it earth shattering. I have been making a bit more of an effort in the garden - beans, cukes, tomatoes, cabbage, leeks, lettuce and onions. I do have some strawberries, but with the plethora of hungry bears in these parts, the fruit is just a pipe dream. I have SO much to learn in the garden department, and I really regret not paying more attention when I lived with my grandma when I was in my 20's. She had everything imaginable in her yard, in fact the only stuff she bought at the store during growing season was meat. Everything else was out of the garden.



I have been working again at night - teaching a couple of courses online. It basically gives us a bit of extra cash so that I can stay home with the kidlets until they are older. I was so lucky that I was able to take a leave of absence from my "real job" until Renee is in school. It really was a no brainer making that decision once I started trying to find affordable, good daycare for three kids. It is hard though - most nights I am working until midnight, and all I want to do is just flake out and let my brains ooze out my ears. Hence the lack of updates.

No time for flickr mom, this will have to do.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, my mom was an airline hostess.

She is not one of the ladies pictured above, but her uniform wasn't much different than these - I remember when I was 12 trying on her uniform and it didn't even cover my ass. My mom is shorter than me, but holy hell those uniforms were short.

I am sure that the flight attendants today do things vastly different than the "hostesses" back in the day. I have been on some flights where the service wasn't much better than crap, and other flights that were downright fantastic. Being a safety geek, I ALWAYS pay attention to the safety announcement, but I notice that most people don't. Well, this guy fixes that....

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Crappy Customer Service

One of my biggest pet peeves is really bad customer service. In the past week I have come across it more times than I can count, and it damned near drove me nuts.

Today, I phoned my old hairdresser to "try" (you'll see why that is in quotes a bit later) make an appointment to get my hair done. I haven't been to this hairdresser in over a year. She is fan-freaking-tastic, which is a problem because she books a couple of months in advance, and I usually have to cancel appointments I have made far in advance because something always comes up (usually a birthday party, or a practice of some sort for one of the kids that gets scheduled after the appointment is made). At any rate, I thought I'd try again to see if she can fix my lid.

So when I call, I ask the girl who answers the phone if Irene works on Tuesdays. I figure that she would have more availability during the week than on the weekend. The receptionist says "I don't know". So I ask her if she can find out. She goes to check, and then comes back to tell me "I don't think she works on Tuesdays". So I then ask her when Irene's next available appointment is. And she tells me "Oh, Irene is REALLY booked up, I'm so sorry". At this point I am not to impressed, and I really wish I had something witty and snarky to say like "Do you expect me to jump through the phone and check the appointment book myself"? But no, I just say "well that's been helpful" and I hang up.

Stuff like that just drives me nuts. I honestly am thinking of phoning my old hairdresser and telling her what happened (she is the owner of the salon). Of course, I might just phone again a bit later, hoping to get someone else and actually getting an appointment!

I blinked. And my baby turned two.

It was at about this time two years ago that I was in a hospital BEGGING for drugs as I was in intense labour with Renee. I always thought that by the time kiddo number three came along that the whole delivery and birthing thing would be a breeze. How wrong I was. She was by far the hardest and most painful to deliver - but oh so worth it.

As I was leaving the hospital, the midwife mentioned that if she hadn't seen me actually give birth to Renee she'd swear I was leaving the hospital with the wrong baby. Those asian genes sure give the pool a good shake up.





The midwife came by the house a few days later to check up on us. If I had known how awesome having a midwife was, I would have done it with all three kids. The care was out of this world. Nick wanted to be weighed next - he thought that weighing Renee "old school" was about the coolest thing ever.



Of course, grandpa had other ways of measuring Renee - unconventional for sure, but effective.

With two big brothers, it sometimes was pretty tough work being the baby (and only girl).

And that hair! It was wild when it was dry, curly when wet, and RED.

Right from day one she has tried to keep up with her brothers

Even when it comes to eating, she will not be outdone. EVER. She is her mother's daughter.

I am slowly learning how to do her hair - when she lets me....

Often though, she'll just do her own thing.

Happy birthday sweet girl!!!

It's been a rough couple of weeks

I've been a bit light on the posting, partly because I am up to my eyeballs in marking, and partly because I have got at least one of my kids glued to some part of me for most of the day.

The roughest part of the last couple of weeks though is that a good friend of mine lost her husband - he was only 39. She has two young kids and is still trying to comprehend how she is going to go on without him. They were an amazing couple - always together. He worked mostly at night, so during the day he was with the family. In fact on the day he had his stroke she told me that they had such nice day together and I think she is really happy to hold onto that special memory.

Today was his funeral. It was hard. So so hard. He was so young - he has two small kids. We are all still trying to comprehend why.